Emotions

Rumi’s poem The Guest House is one of the most powerful poems ever written. It brings so much together.  He says, 

“This being human is a guest house. 

Every morning a new arrival; 

a joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary 

awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. 

Welcome and entertain them all! 

Be grateful for whoever comes, 

because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”

Joy, depression, even meanness- all powerful teachers.  What are they teaching you?  Like all good teachers, they are pointing beyond themselves to a greater lesson.  Emotions have their own higher purpose.  

Here are 3 steps to a higher emotional education:

1. Sign up for class by turning up to your life. It'ss where your heart schools you in emotions 101.  Turn up, meet the teachers and get ready for a full immersion.

2. Complete the assignment. Do the, sometimes, hard work of diving deep into your emotions.

3. Graduate.  In other words, the aim of good teachers is to do themselves out of a job.  You have what you need within you.

When you graduate with a masters in emotional intelligence, you have emotions but you aren’t had by them.  You feel things deeply, but know that they leave just as suddenly as they came.  As Rumi says, “Meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.”

Awareness is the head of the house and student adviser.  With awareness, know which emotions are in the house, and why they’re there, and never ever forget who you are when the guests leave.

Now if you want to be rich:  click here:
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How to Retire a Millionaire

Are You Afraid Of Growing Old Without Money?

          Greg is a 63-years old Vice President of a company.

The salt and pepper hair fits him nicely.  Makes him look elegant.  Greg also wears cool clothes that make him look like a rich gentleman.

But his eyes can’t hide the bone-chilling TERROR inside.

Because he knows he will retire at 65.  That’s just two years away.   And he’s scared.  Because on that day, he won’t have a monthly paycheck anymore.

       “I’m sure you have savings, right?” I asked Greg.

       He looked down, shaking his head.  “Not more than P200,000 in the bank.  I’ve never been very good with savings.  I just spend my money.  And there were many emergencies along the way.  I know I should have saved more.  But I didn’t.”

       I asked, “But you’ll get a nice retirement package from your company?”

       “To pay my debts,” he sighed.  “I just borrowed to buy a car last year.  And did some house repairs this year.  We also travelled as a family last summer, paid for by another loan.  So whatever I’ll get from my retirement will erase my debt.  But nothing will be left.  Absolutely nothing.”

       I couldn’t help but groan. 

Greg was staring at the PERFECT STORM.   A financial calamity that was coming in two years.

“Can you help me, Bo?” Greg asked.

I pitied him so much.  If only he was twenty years younger—it would have been easy!

My Maids Have MORE Investments

Than This Vice President

All my maids are invested in the Stock Market. 

My first maid—the first one who started her investment program under my guidance—now has P518,844 in her stock market portfolio.  She’s only 30 years old.  If she keeps investing, she’ll have P15 Million by the time she hits 50.  Note: A maid!  (Last year, I promoted her to bookkeeper, but that’s another fascinating story to tell at another time.)

Almost all my employees (over a hundred of them) are investing in the Stock Market too.  Messengers, janitors, clerks...  I’ve got happy employees because they will all be multimillionaires when they retire.

       Even my sons Benedict and Francis, ages 13 and 7, are investors.  For years, Benedict would invest money from his odd jobs.  And Francis would invest Christmas cash gifts from Ninangs and Ninongs. They will be millionaires by age 18 and multimillionaires by age 21.

       Let me repeat: Their money is in the Stock Market. 

Not in the Bank.   

Did you know that the interest you earn in a bank is LESS then 1% a year?  But in the Stock Market, if you follow my simple investment system (NOT trading!), you’ll grow your money from 12% to 20% a yearover time and become a multimillionaire in 20 years.

You Don’t Have To Make The Mistakes Of Greg

      

       Some people think that as you grow older, you’ll have to grow poorer.

Not true.  You don’t have to make the mistakes Greg made.

Thousands of people have already joined my TrulyRichClub.And following my guidance, they have started investing in the Stock Market.  And they’re very happy.

Those who joined me 2 years ago—and who invested in the Stock Market with my guidance—can’t thank me enough for the TOTAL CHANGE that has happened in their financial life.

       I repeat: Don’t be like Greg.  You don’t have to be afraid growing old and poor.

Stop postponing!  You’re missing out on these earnings.  Most importantly, you’re missing out on gaining financial freedom.

       To join, click the link below:

Yes Bo, I’d like to change my finances in 2013;

Tell me more about the TrulyRichClub.

      

May your dreams come true,

       Bo Sanchez

PS. Start this new year right!  To gain financial freedom for your future and join the TrulyRichClub, click the link below:

       Yes Bo, I’d like to change my finances in 2013;

Tell me more about the TrulyRichClub.

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How to Invest in Stock Market

i stopped buying stock for a few months kasi maraming gastusin at utang na dapat bayaran.  Tapos naisip ko sayang naman ang mga buwan na yun na hindi ako naka invest sa aking future.  Kaya nagrenew ako sa Truly Rich Club ni Bo Sanchez para ma update ako sa kung ano'ng stock ang dapat bilhin at kung ano ang mga stock na meron ako na dapat na palang ibenta.  Good thing nag renew ako kasi may update pala na dapat bumili ng BDO. ;) e di BDO partner na ako ngayon. hahahaahaha feeling ang yaman yaman ko.  Tapos part owner na ako pati ng SM. oi Henry Sy kalevel na tayo. hahaahahha

Anyway maganda dahil tumanggap ako finally ng credit card from BDO yung shop more card nila kaya ginamit ko para mag renew. At kahapon ay nakabili na nga ako ng BDO stocks.  Nalaman ko din na may online system na pala ngayon ang Truly Rich Club kaya anytime pwede na magtanong at may sasagot agad sayo na mga experts.  Meron ding blog akong sinusundan ngayon kung paano ang step by step process kung paano mag sign up sa Citisec Online

 at kung paano bumili ng stocks at kung ano ano pa.  Kaya kung gusto mong mag sign-up lahat ng tanong mo masasagot na rin almost instantly.  So ano pa ba ang hinihintay mo?  Gusto mong yumaman di ba?  Click mo lang ang mga links dito at umpisahan ang pagpapayaman.ü

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Paano Yumaman

Kung gusto mong yumaman?   Click mo ang link sa baba at mag sign up ka na. Mas maaga, mas yayaman ka. ;)  Try mo now.  


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La Mesa EcoPark

Last Sunday, Chinese New Year, i wanted to make it extra special as i was in NCR, specifically Quezon City.  I have more or less visited most of the places in QC for a tourister and was googling where else i need to go that i haven't been since i'm in the area anyway.  La Mesa Dam Eco Park came up and so i made it a point to visit while i still can and near the area.

 I arrived earlier than 8am so there was no guard pa para maningil ng entrance fee.  I assume free ang park for joggers kasi narinig ko umiikot ang mga guards pagdating ng 9am para palabasin na lahat. So with that, libre ang entrance fee. hahahaahha

 I have been to many butterfly haven so didn't bother to go inside na but it may be worth going in for those who have not see many butterflies.

Love this seat. ;)

And this picnic huts where you and your group can rest and bond.  So very Pinoy and native ang materials.  Lamig sa katawan pag humiga.  Preskong presko ang hangin.

 Beauty to your eyes this view especially on an early morning.  Lots of smiles from the goddess. ;) and i was able to have this jump shot.

 Climb this stairs for good exercise and at the same time you'll be able to see the dam....

Here comes the dam.  Pero bawal daw mag camera at magvideo.  In short, stolen shot ito. ;)

Walang facilities for overnight stay but i guess camping is allowed as i saw these happy people with their tents.

They call this Drilon Orchidarium.  There are plants for sale.

You can also do fishing.  I have not seen though that they can cook it for you after catching them. 

And this is where you fish ;)

 What else inside the park?  Here goes:

And this one....

Then on your way out, pass by the karinderia.  Love this sinabawang isda.  Tasted so fresh and yummy with a taste of lemon grass. hmmmm ginutom ako ulit ;)

Overall, I would say, it's all worth the trip visiting La Mesa EcoPark.

How to go there?  From Commonwealth Avenue stretching all the way to East Fairview Village, just tell the bus conductor to drop you off in the corner where you can take a tricycle to the park.  They would all know where that is.  Marlboro Street it's called.  Sabihin mo lang sa tricycle driver punta ka ng eco park. P15 pesos ang pamasahe tapos P15 pesos din ang pabalik.  It's worth walking too....malapit lang sya especially maaga ka pa and sunshine is good for your skin.  High Five ito'ng trip na to for me.ü

And if you want to retire young and rich, do sign up sa Truly Rich Club ni Bo Sanchez.  Believe me, it's the best thing that you'll ever do in your life. Just click on the link below.

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iYES that SEE

whoa!  it is quite rare that i fall in love with a poem and this one really caught my soul. ;) 

There is a

Cloud of Unknowing

Always beckoning us

Across our precarious

And dangerous deserts

of

Inevitable uncertainty.

There is a Way

Of seeing

And receiving

And enjoying

Invisible secrets

Endowed

from the

Impregnated

Womb

of

Time and Space and Wisdom.

Sometimes

We listen

Without understanding.

Sometimes

We look

And never comprehend.

Sometimes we

See illusions

And think

They are reality.

Sometimes we

See things

Without actually

Seeing them

As they are.

Indeed,

“Truth is in

the eye

of

the beholder.”

All our perceptions

Become gambles

when

We blindly laud

Our

Limping interpretations

As reality.

Our grand illusion

Is to believe

that

what we see

is

the whole truth.

So we remain

Blindly ensconced

In our rancid,

And rigid

Old wineskins.

And yet,

There are those

Rare ones

Who see

Through

The

Eyes of the

Heart,

For they see

What is invisible

To those

Who think

They can see.

Their perception

Transcends

Mere rational

And physical.

They transcend

The dualistic

And literal

Perceptions of those

Who think they see

But do not see.

Enlightenment,

Repentance,

Paradigm changes

And

The courage to

See what is

Mandates

The mentorship of

The

Spirit of the Depths

Within

One’s Soul.

When we meet

Such rare ones

We encounter

A contagious energy

That spills out

Like

The

Balm of Gilead.

Like Ezekiel of old,

The Inner Eye

Encounters a

Larger world

Of Reality,

No longer

Restricted and constricted

By

Mere

Rational thinking

Or literal seeing.

Today we celebrate

One such rare soul

Who has been

Gifted with

Eyes that see beyond

What we

Take for granted,

What we think

We understand.

Through his

Eyes of the heart

He has gleaned

And bestowed

Upon all of us

A lifetime of

Fruitfulness.

By his own choices

And through his

Refined suffering

He now models

For each of us

A depth of perception,

A

Quality of life,

A

Joy and presence

Without limitation.

How loved you are.

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How to Save MONEY

New Year na at tiyak ako, dun sa kakabalik lang ng trabaho ay ubos na ang budget bago dumating ang unang sweldo ng 2013 ;( how sad di ba?  kaya ngayong taon isa sa mga new year's resolution ko ay matuto kung paano magsave ng hard earned money.  Tamang-tama lang na nakita ko ang articel na ito kaya isishare ko din sa inyo.  Malay mo makapulot kayo kahit isang tip man lang at ng makasave kahit papaano kesa magising ka na wala pa rin. ;)

Saving money is important. We all know that.  But knowing is not the same as doing.

For some people, saving money is like going on a healthy diet.  You get inspired and start to do it, but after a few weeks, self-pity creeps in and you begin hating it.

If you usually fail at saving money or you think it’s really difficult to do, then here are some money saving tips that could help you.

1) Save first, then spend the rest.
At the instant you receive your income, immediately set aside a portion and put it in your savings account. After that, you can now spend the rest of your salary without guilt. This is what they call paying yourself first, which is easier and more fun to do than scrimping on your expenses so you’ll have money left as your savings until the next pay day comes. Try it, this really works.

2) Make saving money automatic.
How do you make saving automatic? There are several ways. One is to go to the bank that handles your company payroll account and ask if they have an automatic savings plan or if you can have one arranged. What this means is that whenever pay day comes, the bank will automatically deduct a fixed amount from your salary and deposit it to a separate savings account.


3) Make your savings NOT easily accessible.
When your savings account is just one ATM withdrawal away, then you’re more likely to touch it.  Make it inconvenient for you to get cash out of your savings.  Simply having a pure passbook bank account is a good start.  As for me, I have a BDO Optimum Personal Savings Account which only allows you up to three over-the-counter cash withdrawals a month (but unlimited deposit transactions).

The Filipino Paluwagan System provides a similar inaccessibility to your savings.  In fact, many Pinoys have recently started and joined paluwagans to “force” them to save money in light of the recent global financial crisis.


4) Always use cash.
When you always use cash, you’ll be more aware of your budget.  This will help you avoid accumulating debts and encourage you to live within your means.  Simply put, pay yourself first then always use cash.  Do this and you’ll end up with no credit and a savings account that you don’t have to touch to pay your debts.

5) Set a benchmark and a reward for saving money.
They say that you should save money for the “rainy days”.  Personally, I believe that’s a pessimistic (and vague) reason to encourage yourself into saving.  I find myself more motivated into saving money when I set a reward for myself whenever I reach a certain amount.

For example, I allow myself to guiltlessly splurge P2,000 on anything I want whenever I am able to increase my savings by P10,000.  Other times, I reward myself with a fancy dinner in a restaurant after every three No Spending Days.

If you like this article, please subscribe to Ready To Be Rich so you won’t miss the next article here. Thanks.
 Below is a way to earn more and invest your money wisely.  Just click on it.;)

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Delayed at Cancelled ang Flight mo, ANO ang GAGAWIN?

Aba 2013 na! ;)  kakabalik lang sa trabaho.  instead na rejuvenated, ito pagod pa rin dahil sa bakasyon. watdapak!?  anyway, masaya pa rin ang taon na ito kahit ano pa mangyari.  Ngayon nagkasalubong kami ng article na ito at dapat mong malaman kung ano ang gagawin pag nangyari sayo ito.  Ako kasi ilang beses ng nangyari ito at palaging walang magawa.  Ito ngayon may magagawa na ako pati na rin ikaw ;) at dahil lucky color ang green ngayong taon na ito, masaya ako. hahahahaha

To those airline passengers who have missed meetings and appointments because of hours of delays, to those who have lost their luggage without either compensation or even a sincere apology from airline companies, and to those who were lured by “cheap” fares only to discover excessive hidden fees and charges, here’s an early Christmas gift for you.

The “Airline Passengers’ Bills of Rights” took effect December 21, 2012. Also known as Joint Administrative Order (JAO) No. 1 by the Department of Tourism and the Department of Transportation and Communication, this bill of rights gives air travelers well-defined rights and avenues to air their grievances against abusive airline companies with proper redress.

This bill of rights is no doubt a good step towards giving travelers better and well-deserved customer service that have been sorely lacking in industry in the past years. It doesn’t end here, though. Strict implementation of the rules and existence of convenient avenues to file complaints against erring airline companies should pave the way for a much-better airline industry in the country.

Here is a summary of the salient points of the Airline Passengers’ Bill of Rights. Read, be informed, and exercise your rights as an air traveler.

Right to compensation and amenities in case of Flight Delays

a. In case of Terminal Delay (defined as “a flight delay that occurs while passengers are still inside the terminal waiting to board”) of at least three (3) hours after the expected time of departure (ETD) regardless of reason for delay, a passenger shall have right to:

• be provided with refreshments or meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snacks, as the case may be);
• be provided with free phone calls, texts, or emails, and first aid, if necessary; and
• rebook or refund ticket subject to conditions outlined in the Bill of Rights

b. In case of Terminal Delay extending for at least six (6) hours after the ETD for causes attributable to the carrier, the flight is deemed “cancelled” for the purpose of making available to the passenger rights and amenities required to be provided in case of actual cancellation (see below).

Right to compensation and amenities in case of Cancelled Flights

a. In case of flight cancellation attributable to the airline, the passenger is entitled to:

• be notified beforehand via public announcement or published notice;
• be provided with the following, if he/she is already at the airport at the time of the announcement of the flight cancellation: sufficient refreshments or meals (e.g. snacks consisting of at least  a bottle of water and a sandwich, or breakfast, lunch, or dinner, or a voucher for the same, as the case may be); hotel accommodation (conveniently accessible from the airport); transportation from the airport to the hotel and vice-versa; free phone calls, text or emails, and first aid, if necessary;
• reimbursement of the value of the fare, including taxes and surcharges, of the flight cancelled, or both in case the passenger decides not to fly;
• be endorsed to another air carrier without paying any fare difference, at the option of the passenger, and provided that space permit such re-accommodation; or
• rebook the ticket, without additional charge, to the next flight with available space, or, within 30 days, to a future trip within the period of validity of the ticket.  However, for rebooking made over 30 days, fees and fare difference will apply.

b. In case the airline decides to cancel a flight at least 24 hours before departure, it will not be liable for any amenities except to notify the passenger, and to rebook or reimburse the passenger.

Right to Clear and Non-Misleading Promos and Advertisements

a. All fare advertisements must disclose the following:

• Conditions and restrictions attached to the fare type;
• Refund and rebooking policies, if any;
• Baggage allowance policies;
• Government taxes and fuel surcharges;
• Other mandatory fees and charges;
• Contact details of the carrier (i.e. phone number, website, e-mail, etc.); and
• Other information necessary to apprise the passenger of the conditions and the full/total price of the ticket purchased

b. For promo fares such as “Piso fares” or other “cheap flight promos,” the following information must also be announced:

• Number of seats offered on a per sector basis;
• Duration of the promo; and
• The CAB Approval No. of Fares

c. These disclosures must occupy at least one-third (1/3) of the advertising material and must also be printed or attached to the ticket.

Right to Compensation for Lost, Delayed, or Damaged Baggage

a. In case a checked-in baggage has been off-loaded for operational, safety or security reasons, the passenger must be informed at the soonest practicable time. The baggage must be carried in the next flight with available space and must be delivered to the passenger personally or at his/her residence.

b. The passenger must be paid P2,000 for every 24 hours their baggage is missing. After 7 days, the baggage would be deemed lost.

c. For lost or damaged baggage, the compensation will be in the following manner:

• For international flights, the relevant conventions shall apply;
• For domestic flights, upon proof, a maximum amount in Peso equivalent to half of the amount in the relevant convention (for international flights).

Right to Immediate Payment of Compensation

Compensation to affected passengers shall be made at the airline counters at the airport on the date when the occasion occurred entitling the passenger to compensation. Alternatively, it may be done at the airline’s main office or any of their branches, at the discretion of the passenger.

At kung gusto mong yumaman ngayong 2013, click mo lang itong nasa baba.  Have a prosperous New Year to you ;)

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Soul's Agenda

Last day of work today, i mean office job, but work per se i don't think it will ever last not until i breathe out my last i guess.ü  Is it coincidence that i stumbled into this great article from my ever inspiration, Neale Donald Walsch?  Nah, i don't believe so.  Just perfect to think deeper and give answers to this very important questions just before 2012 ends and i'm being ushered into the new year, 2013. 

 

 

I’m tired of settling for small steps or simple aphorisms.  It is time now to enter into deep, honest, self-examination.  Some important, even pointed, questions:

Does it feel as though what I’m doing these days is what an evolved being would do? Beyond the issue of survival, beyond “taking care of business” or slogging through the day “doing what needs to be done,” how much of what I’m “up to” feels like what really matters, and how much feels like just “stuff and nonsense”—or, in Shakespeare’s words, Much Ado About Nothing . . . ?

Are my minutes fulfilling? Are my hours ringing with satisfaction? Are my days overflowing with contentment? Are my weeks and months teeming with accomplishment of my Soul’s agenda?

Are my years brimming with spiritual radiance and soulful, Divine expression and experience? Or do I awaken on milestone days—birthdays, anniversaries, times of celebration—with a vague feeling of how fast time is passing and how slowly I have progressed at what I came here to accomplish—and how difficult it is to accomplish it . . . ?

For that matter, have I always been clear that there is something specific that I came here to accomplish? If so, have I known exactly what that is?

I guess I should not be surprised or embarrassed if I have not.  It turns out that 98% of the world’s people do not.  And it’s not their fault.  And it’s not my fault if I find myself even now, at least from time to time, among them.  Because nobody told them, and nobody told me, what really matters.

Oh, they’ve tried to tell us.  Some people have tried to convince us.  And many, many of us listened to those people, because to know something for certain—as religions and politics allow us to think that we do—feels better than to not know.

But the more I listened the more I knew that what others were “buying into” of what still others were telling them couldn’t possibly be true. So I moved away from all of their agendas.  I may not have known where I was going, but I knew what I wanted to get away from.

The result is that I am spending less time these days in that larger group.  And right now I am not even in it . . . or I would never have this book in my hand.  It is wonderful that I am not among that 98% now, and that I spend less and less time there, because there’s nothing worse than spending most of one’s life on things that just simply don’t matter.

No, wait, yes there is.  It would be worse to not know what does matter.  It would be worse to not know that what I am doing here is taking a Sacred Journey, fulfilling a Divine Purpose.
 

If you are tired of working 8 or 9 hours a day and want to retire a millionaire or do something worthwhile at home and spend quality time with people who really matter, click on the links below. ;)

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when i die

On the day of my Continuation and reunion with my Beloved, i want this to be read during my burial ritual.  Inspired from one of my favorite inspirations, Rumi.

When I die
when my coffin

is being taken out
you must never think
i am missing this world

don’t shed any tears
don’t lament or
feel sorry
i’m not falling
into a monster’s abyss

when you see
my corpse is being carried
don’t cry for my leaving
i’m not leaving
i’m arriving at eternal love

when you leave me
in the grave
don’t say goodbye
remember a grave is
only a curtain
for the paradise behind

you’ll only see me
descending into a grave
now watch me rise
how can there be an end
when the sun sets or
the moon goes down

it looks like the end
it seems like a sunset
but in reality it is a dawn
when the grave locks you up
that is when your soul is freed

have you ever seen
a seed fallen to earth
not rise with a new life
why should you doubt the rise
of a seed named human

have you ever seen
a bucket lowered into a well
coming back empty
why lament for a soul
when it can come back
like Joseph from the well

when for the last time
you close your mouth
your words and soul
will belong to the world of
no place no time.

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Truth = FREE

Did i just stumbled upon this for no reason today?  Nah! i don't think so. i simply love this:

The ancient Greek word for truth is alétheia. It means “not hidden” or beyond appearance. It’s the word that most closely corresponds to modern phrases, coming out, living authentically, and expressing yourself.

 

Marianne Williamson was so right, “Your authentic presence will automatically liberate others.”

 

As fire brand feminist, Naomi Wolf, said,

Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.

...and so here's to the truth of being me! ;)  i commit to be true at all times in all the dealings i will make from today on and always in all ways.

Now, would you like to be liberated from being a slave to your employer?  Click the link below and start being your own boss.ü

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What is INTOLERABLE to you in a Relationship?

took me more than a month to go back and sit down and ponder on this.  I have changed into a different font face color from among the listed things what is highly intolerable for me in a relationship.ü

 

If you are looking for a committed relationship, you have a much better chance of creating a loving relationship if you are very clear on what you want and what is not tolerable to you.

Take a moment right now to think about what is not tolerable to you. Here is a partial list of what some of my clients have come up with. There is no right or wrong regarding what you want and what is not tolerable to you, so tune in to what you want and what you absolutely can't live with. Sometimes, a person has many traits that we value and appreciate, and a few that we don't like, but we can live with them. The following list is not so much about what you don't like, but about what is completely intolerable to you.

It is not tolerable for my future partner to:

• Have a different religion than me
• Be politically different than me
• Be a different race than me
• Have children from another relationship
• Not want children
• Want children
• Have different values than I have
• Be pro-life
• Be pro-choice
• Smoke cigarettes
• Smoke pot
• Be against medical marijuana
• Take recreational drugs
• Be physically ill
• Earn less than I do
• Be overweight
• Be skinny
• Be short
• Be very tall
• Eat junk food
• Eat only organic food
• Not care about their looks
• Not care about their health
• Not care about their weight
• Be depressed
• Get angry a lot
• Get violent
• Have been convicted of a violent crime
• Work at something that is illegal
• Be judgmental/critical
• Be sarcastic
• Be needy and dependent
• Be overbearing and demanding
• Always have to be right
• Be introverted
• Be extroverted
• Be insensitive
• Be closed to learning about themselves
• Be into personal growth
• Not be into personal growth
• Be in therapy
• Want me to be in therapy
• Be against being in therapy
• Not like to read
• Be addicted to TV
• Be un-athletic
• Be a workaholic
• Not have a high sex-drive
• Have a high sex drive
• Watch pornography
• Be against watching pornography
• Be self-centered/narcissistic/have entitlement issues
• Be unkind and dismissive to people
• Be arrogant
• Dislike animals
• Hunt animals
• Not appreciate art or music
• Have no friends
• Live far away from me
• Not listen well
• Not be empathic
• Talk about themselves all the time
• Have to be the center of attention
• Gamble
• Be high maintenance
• Be addicted to spending
• Always be late
• Not call when they say they will call
• Be messy
• Be overly neat
• Be poor at managing money
• Be in debt
• Not care about the effect their behavior has on others
• Be homophobic
• Not be homophobic
• Be for gay marriage
• Not be for gay marriage
• Be conflict avoidant
• Not be on a spiritual path
• Be on a spiritual path
• Not be on the same spiritual path as me
• Not be able to express feelings
• Be in their head rather than in their heart
• Not be brilliant
• Be brilliant
• Dislike their job
• Not have hobbies
• Come from a rich family
• Come from a poor family
• Not be a college graduate
• Not be a professional
• (add your own)

There are certainly more issues -- such as preferences around looks and age -- and I'd love to hear about some of them that I have not listed here. I hope you take the time to explore and value what you want and what is not tolerable to you in a relationship.

If you are already in a relationship with someone who has traits that are truly intolerable to you, this is a different challenge. You only have two choices: to learn to accept the behavior, or to leave the relationship. Learning to accept the behavior may entail learning more about why the behavior is important to your partner. You may need counseling to reach this acceptance. While your partner can change the behavior, you cannot make him or her change it.  People change when they decide to -- not when someone is trying to have control over getting them to change.  Your partner may decide to change out of caring for you or to not to lose the relationship, but frequently this is not the case. If your partner is not interested in changing, and the behavior is truly intolerable to you, then your only choice -- if you are going to support your own highest good -- is to leave the relationship. This is why it is very important before entering a committed relationship to be clear on what is and what is not tolerable to you.

betrulyrich

Love - does it really hurts?

aha. i'm back. it's been awhile.  have left this entry hanging for weeks now and re-reading it now, it makes some sense.  now it's finding its way to my being.  i am being questioned, especially lately, on what love truly is and what's loving and what's not.  i'd like to believe that my navigator in life is love yet i know have so much to remember, re-assess, re-live and redefine truths when it comes to this.  guess when you are put in a situation that you have never dreamed of or even thought about or let's say have a strong disagreement of it in the past, you needed to befriend and accept it as it is and stop going against it for in the end, you will see the enemy and discover it has been you.  i am no perfect but i can say i am perfection in its moment of each day given the model of the world as i see it and experience.  it will never be my intention to purposefully hurt any one for i treat every one as part of me in best ways i can. 

 

so i go spreading love and kindness in this world.  forgive me if you think or believe that i have hurt you along the way.

most of our hurts, disappointments, worries, wounds, irritations, feelings of inadequacy, and conflicts with others are rooted in a strong sense of "me, mine, and I."  Relaxing this sense - while also being good to other beings, including the one wearing your nametag - is a powerful source of strength, love, and inner peace.      

Sometimes you just cant tell someone how you feel, you can never really find the right words to make them understand.

Love never leaves, people do.

Whatever this set of rules may be for a couple, whether insisting on monogamy or making certain exceptions, that is for them alone to decide.  What matters is that, once we've decided and agreed upon the terms of our relationship, we must stand by these decisions.  In doing so, we offer our partner and ourselves a certain degree of freedom and respect as the separate individuals we are.  We are then free to love our partner for who they are, not as extensions of ourselves or people we must control, watch out for, or feel suspicious toward.  When two people in a couple accept and appreciate each other's uniqueness and independence, they're often surprised by how much closer they get to each other.  When we give up some control, we frequently find that we gain much more than we lose.

betrulyrich