bless or curse....you choose

All of us have our share of suffering. We don’t welcome it but we seldom have much control.

Father Henri Nouwen says:

“It is an ongoing temptation to think of our lives as living under a curse. The loss of a friend, an illness, an accident, a natural disaster, a war, or any failure can make us quickly think that we are no good and are being punished. This temptation to think of our lives as full of curses is even greater when all the media present us day after day with stories about human misery. Blessings and curses are always placed in front of us. We are to choose."

To bless means to say good things.

We have to bless one another constantly.

Parents need to bless their children, children their parents, husbands their wives, wives their husbands, friends their friends.

In our society, so full of curses, we must fill each place we enter with our blessings.

We forget so quickly that we are God’s beloved children and allow the many curses of our world to darken our hearts. Therefore, we have to be reminded of our belovedness and remind others of theirs. Whether the blessing is given in words or with gestures, in a solemn or an informal way, our lives need to be blessed lives.

We bless ourselves:
*when we give thanks with a grateful heart.
*when we listen to the quiet, inner voice that says good things about ourselves.
*when we affirm ourselves and know that we have given the best of ourselves in whatever we have worked on.
*when we shut out the loud, busy outer voice that says we are being punished.

We bless others:
*when we speak good things about them and to them.
*when we show by our gestures that their presence is a joy to us.
*when we reveal to them their gifts, their goodness and their talents.

Our reactions immediately after an unpleasant event happens:

When we lose our job, when we have an abusive boss, when a car accident happens, when we are robbed, when we are seriously ill, when we have cancer, the immediate question “Why?” emerges. “Why me?” “Why now?” “Why here?” “What have I done wrong?” “Why am I being punished?”

It is so difficult to live without an answer to this “Why?” but, if we are too focused and obsessed with finding the answers to these questions of the causes of these events, we are more likely to end up being angry and bitter. Bitterness will turn us away from God and thus we curse ourselves.

In order to see the suffering and pain in a new light, change of focus is needed. Now that the unpleasant event has happened, what should your response be? Mother Teresa advised, “Just accept whatever God gives and give whatever God takes with a big smile.”

This requires a change in mindset and heart-set. Believe that with God’s help all things are possible. When you embrace this truth, you bless yourself. Do not allow your suffering and pain to be wasted and to be of no value. You have been given a spirit of power and of love and of a sound mind. Face any suffering and hardships in a new perspective.

When we turn to God, God will work WITH us to turn the suffering and pain round for our good. The circumstances, the pain, the suffering, the hardship or the adversity may still be there and may not change much BUT our response and internal attitude towards them will certainly change. Yes, we can take God at Her Word that She will help us, comfort us, strengthen us and support us through our pain and suffering. Then, suffering can become a turning point from which we take our greatest leap forward in our faith in God. When we trust God, God gives us the hope and courage to look suffering in the face and to go through it confidently with a renewed spirit and heart. Our suffering will, hopefully, turn us round to come in closer touch with the presence of God in our lives. The great secret in life is that suffering can become a source of new hope and new life. We will then learn to accept it with a smile. This is indeed a blessing.

Our memory of events long after they happened:

How we recount these unpleasant experiences is also vitally important. When we constantly recount them:

• with blaming God


• with blaming others


• with cursing our fate


• with anger


• with fear


• with regret


• with the feeling of being victimized

Then we put these events under the curse. When we feel we are being punished, the feeling of being cursed comes easily. We will hear an inner voice calling us “bad,” “rotten,” “worthless,” “useless,” “doomed to sickness and death.” We darken our hearts and live our lives with bitterness and resentment. So, we unconsciously curse ourselves.

But blessing is nothing more than recounting positively these events:

• with what God has helped us to endure or overcome


• with what patience our family and friends have stood by us


• with what we have learnt out of the events, and


• with hope, courage and love.

Then we put these experiences under the blessing and we consciously bless ourselves.

Henri Nouwen says, “In Latin, to bless is benedicere. The word ‘benediction’ that is used in many churches means literally: speaking (dictio) well (bene) or saying good things of someone.

That speaks to all of us. We all need to hear good things said of us. Nowadays, we often say: ‘We have to affirm each other.’ Without affirmations, it is hard to live well. To give someone a blessing is the most significant affirmation we can offer. It is more than a word of praise or appreciation; it is more than pointing out someone’s talents or good deeds; it is more than putting someone in the light. To give a blessing is to affirm, to say ‘yes’ to a person’s Belovedness. And more than that to give a blessing creates the reality of which it speaks.

There is a lot of mutual admiration in this world, just as there is a lot of mutual condemnation. A blessing goes beyond the distinction between admiration or condemnation, between virtues or vices, between good deeds or evil deeds. A blessing touches the original goodness of the other and calls forth his or her Belovedness.

Physical, mental or emotional pain lived under the blessing is experienced in ways radically different from physical, mental or emotional pain lived under the curse. Even a small burden, perceived as a sign of our worthlessness, can lead us to deep depression. But, great and heavy burdens become light and easy when they are lived in the light of the blessing. What seems intolerable becomes a challenge. What seems a reason for despair becomes a source of hope. What seems punishment becomes a gentle pruning from God. What seems rejection becomes a way to a deeper communion with God. And so the great task becomes that of allowing the blessing to touch us in our brokenness. Then our brokenness will gradually come to be seen as an opening towards the full acceptance of ourselves as the Beloved children of God. This explains why true joy can be experienced in the midst of great suffering. It is the joy of being disciplined, purified and pruned. Just as athletes who experience great pain as they run the race can, at the same time, taste the joy of knowing that they are coming closer to their goal, so also can the Beloved experience suffering as a way to deeper communion with God. Here joy and sorrow are no longer each other’s opposites, but have become the two sides of the same desire to grow to the fullness of the Beloved. For this blessed attitude to take root, we have to have deep faith that God loves us unconditionally and that we are the beloved children of God, very precious to Her.

Remember, no one is brought to life through curses, blaming, gossips, accusations and punishment.

But every one is brought to life through blessings, encouragement, affirmations, praises, rewards and forgiveness.

appreciation

No matter who we are or what our actions may say, we all want to be recognized and appreciated. I

Jaime Escalante, the teacher on whom the movie Stand and Deliver was based, tells an amazing story about a mistaken identity and the difference it made in a young man’s life.

This teacher had two students in his class who were both named Johnny. One Johnny was an excellent student, a happy child, and always had his homework completed on time. The other Johnny was always in trouble, never had his work finished, and generally made the teacher’s life miserable.

The night of their first PTA Open House of the year a mother stayed after the meeting to ask about her son, Johnny, and how he was getting along in the class. Assuming it was the mother of the “good” Johnny, the teacher replied, “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate him. I am so glad he’s in my class.”

The next day, for the first time all year, the “problem” Johnny had all his work done, he spoke up in class, and never once caused a disruption. He even volunteered to help another student. The teacher was astounded!

At the end of the day when everyone else had left, “problem” Johnny came up to the teacher and said, “My Mom told me what you said about me last night. I haven’t ever had a teacher who wanted me in his class.”
That Johnny became one of the best students the teacher ever had – and all because of a mistaken dose of appreciation! No matter who we are and what our situation in life is, we all want and need to be appreciated.

ways to peace

All of us can rise above any situation that life hands us.

All of us can live a fulfilling life in the middle of the turmoil.

All of us can find a sense of peace and purpose.

see the world in a more life-affirming and powerful way.

1. “Un-set" your heart.

Un-setting your heart means letting go of your picture of how you want it all to be. It means letting go of trying to control things over which you have no control. One of the prime causes of our suffering is our wanting things to be different than they are. Yes, we all want a peaceful world instead of a world filled with weapons of mass destruction; health instead of illness; healthy, happy children instead of children who break our hearts. But sometimes life doesn't hand us what we want. And when we un-set our hearts from our needing it all to be a certain way, we can breathe a sigh of relief and open the door to a more powerful way of living.

2. Create a "wondering" life instead of a "hoping" life.

It helps us un-set our hearts when we replace the words "I hope" with the words "I wonder." Instead of "I hope the war ends quickly," make it "I wonder if the war will end quickly." Instead of "I hope the stock market goes up," make it "I wonder if the stock market will go up." Instead of "I hope I keep my job," make it "I wonder if I'll keep my job." Notice the relief in this simple shift. Even with difficult situations in our lives, substituting “I wonder” for “I hope” keeps our hopes from being dashed and opens up the possibility of our learning and growing from whatever happens.

3. Choose the path of trust.

When you fully understand that you have little control of the external world, you then have two choices:

1) you can choose to see yourself as a "poor-me" victim at the mercy of circumstances or

2) you can choose to develop the trust that, no matter what happens in your life or in the world, you will have the inner strength to create something good from it all.

Hopefully you will choose the latter!

4. Increase your inner sense of power.

One way to help you develop trust in yourself is to cut off negativity in the mind by saying to yourself over and over again, "Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!" If you say it often enough, you will ultimately believe it. And if you really believe that you can handle anything that happens in your life and in the world, what could you possibly have to fear? Nothing!
So when the "what-if's" are driving you mad, simply cut them off by saying over and over again, "Whatever happens, I'll handle it!" You'll feel a sense of confidence wash over you. "What if I lose my job? I'll handle it." "What if my children have difficult times? I'll handle it. Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!"

5. Collect "heroes" who have learned to "handle it."

Heroes to me are people who have created much good in this world as a result of horrible experiences in their lives. As you collect heroes, you understand this important thought, "If they can learn and grow from their experiences, I certainly can learn and grow from mine!" As you collect your heroes, your trust grows and your worry about the future gets smaller and smaller.

6. Focus on the learning that can come from any situation in your life.

Yes, you can learn and find strength from anything that happens to you. If you see ALL situations in life as a way of learning and growing, it helps you let go of your need for things to be a certain way.

War............a way of learning

Peace..........a way of learning

Illness..........a way of learning

Health..........a way of learning

Poverty........a way of learning

Wealth.........a way of learning

Depression.....a way of learning

Joy.............a way of learning

So despite what is happening in your life and in the world, constantly remind yourself "I can learn from this." When you can see the opportunities inherent in all situations, good or bad, it truly helps you embrace all the uncertainty in your life.

7. Embrace the thought "It's all happening perfectly."

This is another affirmation I use over and over. And it truly helps me let go of my needing things to be a certain way. we cannot know the “Grand Design,” the great mystery of it all, and as we say "It's all happening perfectly," we begin looking for the good in any situation that life hands us. When we look for the good, we always find it. Yes, so much good can come from so much that is bad. In that, it truly is happening perfectly.

So when things seem very difficult in your life or in the world, just keep repeating this reassuring statement until it becomes an automatic part of your thinking. This always helps me to have trust, not only in myself, but also the Grand Design.

8. Focus on the blessings.

I have learned from my heroes that, no matter how horrible life may seem on the outside, it is so important to focus on the beauty. As we go about our daily lives, we take so many wonderful things for granted. It's now time to notice. Strangely, this is hard to do, especially when we have our eyes focused on the bad. It sounds ridiculous, but we actually have to train ourselves to notice all the beauty in our lives. And train ourselves, we must…because focusing on the blessings is an absolute necessity for diffusing our fears about the future.

A suggestion: As you go about your day, stop for a moment and notice when something wonderful happens. Then say to yourself while still in the glory of the moment, "I have had this." This is the acknowledgment that "No matter what happens tomorrow, I have had this today." It is in the noticing of the little things that you truly get the feeling of a life well-lived … that wonderful hot shower, that kiss from a loved one, the fact that your car started, that great dinner you are eating, the warm rays of the sun, a candy bar, a wonderful television show ….

9. Get involved.

Positive action has an amazing effect on our psyche. As we take action, we begin to feel more powerful and our fear about the future decreases considerably. Keep repeating to yourself: "My life has meaning and I will do whatever I can to make this a better world."
Then ask yourself, "What am I called to do?" Make a list of what comes to mind, and begin taking action. When you remember that your life has meaning, it makes it so much easier to push through the fear and live a life that matters. And your self-esteem grows and grows. Just as importantly, you will have found the secret of creating a joyous and fulfilling life.
As you make these tools a part of your daily life, you experience a whole new sense of purpose and power emerging from within, and you look forward to the future with an attitude of great possibility -- for yourself and for your world.

this is my now

i simply love the song. can't stop myself from posting the lyrics. hehehe

There was a time

I packed my dreams away

Living in a shell, hiding from myself

There was a time

when I was so afraid

Thought I’d reached the end

Baby that was then

I am made of more than my yesterday’s

This is my now,

and I am breathing in the moment

But I look around

I can’t believe the love I see

My fears behind me,

gone are the shadows and doubts

That was then,

this is my now.

And I have the courage

like never before, yeah

I’ve settled for less now

I’m ready for more

Ready for more

global warming...what can you do?

no one adores washing dishes, but is it really harder to wash a spoon than it is to locate and drill oil reservoirs, refine crude oil, extract the chemical feedstock used to make plastic, and mould plastic into thousands of tiny, single-use utensils that are then shipped to a landfill where they must then be managed for hundreds of years while they sit without decomposing?

there’s 2 kinds of trash (biodegradable & non-biodegradable). Opting for the former is a good start.

Here are some ways you can do to become part of the solution to the problem:

• Use your own containers for take-out or leftovers from your favorite restaurant. Make sure to be friendly when you ask to use your own container; activism with a smile is always the most effective.


• encourage your city council to pass a ban on Styrofoam containers in restaurants. Legislation like this is important because Styrofoam is not recyclable and does not quickly decompose so it sits in landfills. The more Styrofoam we prevent, the fewer open spaces we'll need to be converted to landfills to hold this trash. You can talk to restaurants and stores that use plastic cutlery or bags about biodegradable plastics.


• inform the city officials if you come across a restaurant using Styrofoam.


• unplug cables if not in use.


• turn off the light if you can do without it


• don't ride or use your car if you can walk to your destination


• turn off computers if you're going out for a break (it will save energy and electric bill too)


• bring baskets when you go to the market. you save on awful lot of plastics.


• tell yourself: "starting today, NO PLASTICS!" and do it


• plant a tree if you can and if you have the land to plant on


• cultivate a garden at home (you can save on a few pesos if you plant your own vegetable garden and it's healthful too)

When we regularly make decisions that take into consideration the wellbeing of the environment and other people, our friends and family take notice. Leading by example is a sure way to inspire those around us to take action as well.

congratulate yourself on the changes you make, no matter how small. When it comes to doing what’s right, there is no effort too small.

sa kabataang pilipino

Itaas ang iyong Malinis na noo
Sa araw na ito, Kabataang Pilipino!
Igilas mo na rin ang kumikinang mong
Mayamang sanghaya
Magandang pag-asa ng Bayan kong Mutya!
Makapangyarihang wani’y lumilipad,
At binibigyan ka ng muning mataas,
Na maitutulad ng ganap na lakas,
Mabilis na hangin, sa kanyang paglipad,
Malinis na diwa, sa likmuang hangad.
Ikaw ay bumaba
Na taglay ang ilaw
Ng sining at agham
Sa paglalabanan,
Bunying kabataan,
At iyong kalagiun ang gapos mong iyang
Tanikalang bakal na kinatalian
Ng matulain mong waning kinagisnan.
Ikaw na lagi nang pataas nag lipad,
Sa pakpak ng iyong Mayamang pangarap,
Na iyong Makita sa ilimpong ulap
Ang lalong matamis na mag tulaing pinakananais,
Ng higit ang sarap kaysa “ambrosia” at “nectar” na awagas
Ng mga bulaklak.
Ikaw na may tinig
Na buhat sa langit,
Kaagaw sa tamis
Na kay Filomenang
Malinis na himig,
Sa gabing tahimik
Ay pinaparam mo ang sa taong sakit,
Ikaw, na ang batong sukdulan ng tigas
Sa lakas ng iyong diwa’y nagagawad
Ng buhay at gilas,
At ang alaalang makislap
Ay nabibigayan ng kamay mong masikap
Ng buhay na walang masasabing wakas.
At ikaw, na siyang
Sa may iba’t ibang
Balani ni Febong kay Apelas mahal,
Gayundin sa lambong ng katalagahan,
Na siyang sa guhit ng pinsel mong tanga’y
Nakapaglilipat sa kayong alinman;
Hayo na’y tumakbo!
Sapagka’t ang banal
Na ningas ng wani’y nais maputungan
Kayong naglalama’y,
At maipamansag ng tambuling tangan,
Saan man humanggan,
Ang ngalan ng tao, sa di matulusang
Lawak ng palibot na nakasasaklaw.
Mal'walhating araw, Ito, Pilipinas, sa lupang tuntungan!
Ang Lumikha’y dapat na pasalamatan,
Dahilan sa kanyang mapagmahal,
Na ikaw’y pahatdan.

you want to be happy?

5 simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4.. Give more.
5. Expect less.

sense of humor...how much?

Laughter can renew your spirit, heal your body, and awaken your proverbial inner child. As we get older, few of us laugh as much or as hard as we did as kids. When is the last time you let yourself have a real belly laugh?

Research indicates that the average adult gets by on only 15 smiles or laughs a day. Children, on the other hand, laugh or smile an average of 400 times a day. As adults, we have some catching up to do.

Try these tips for increasing the laughter in your life.

• 
  Find humor in everyday situations. There is almost always something funny happening.
  
• When you get upset about something, try laughing out loud. Sometimes you can gain perspective on a negative situation by laughing it off. It's rarely as bad as you think it is.
  
• Dare yourself to laugh for 10 seconds without a break once every hour. If you can do that, you will already be laughing more than most adults do!
  
• Try remembering funny things from your past. Amuse yourself throughout the day by conjuring up funny things that have happened to you in the past or imagining new ones. Allow yourself to laugh out loud. Who cares if people see you cracking yourself up? You're just thinking of something funny.
  
• Make funny friends. It's good to spend time with people who keep you laughing.
  
• Join a laugh club. (I'm starting my own. wanna join?)

contentment

the secret to contentment doesn't come from wealth or health or any other sort of abundance.

contentment springs from being happy with what you have and believing that, all in all, life is good.

Consider doing the following exercise:

On a piece of paper, begin the following sentence: "I would be happier if...."

Write down everything that comes to mind when completing this sentence.

Maybe you will write, "I had more money," "I were more attractive," "I were smarter," "I had more friends," or similar statements.

Now look at each of the things on your list. For each, ask yourself the following questions:

1) How could your situation be worse than it is?
2) What about this area can you be content about (even in a small way)?
3) Is keeping your feeling of discontent worth a small measure of your happiness? If not, cross it off your list and resolve to be content with what you have in that area.

If you have crossed off everything on your list, congratulations on your new contentment! Now you just need to remember to honor the decisions you made in this exercise.

If there is at least one item on your list after you finish crossing things off, close your eyes and imagine yourself having what you believe you lack.

How much more content do you think you would feel?

Now try imagining yourself unable to get what you think you lack. How much less content do you think you would be?

Your chances of ever being content — even if you obtain what you think is missing — are lower if you cannot find contentment with the present moment and the present situation. This is because it is easy to slip into a pattern of putting off contentment because you feel you need something more. This way of thinking will keep contentment just slightly out of reach for your whole life.

optimism

2 major secrets to optimism

1. 
   When something negative happens in your life, tell yourself that "this too shall pass." When you believe that a negative change is temporary, you'll be much more motivated to take action to move things in a more positive direction. Take stock of all the things not affected by the negative change. Acknowledge everything in your life that has remained positive. Making these mental notes can help you see that all is not ruined. In addition, remember that events rarely have a single cause. It's usually a combination of factors. Try to minimize the amount of blame you attribute to yourself when bad things happen.


2. When something positive happens in your life, believe that it is going to last. When you feel that a positive change is permanent, you rid yourself of unnecessary worry and let yourself truly benefit from every new, happy change that you experience. So instead of worrying, focus your attention on all of the things in your life that have been improved by the positive change. Allow yourself to bask in the glow of good fortune. Also consider anything you did that may have helped this change to happen. Feel good about all the ways big and small that you're contributing to your own happiness.

Remember to always see the bright side of life. Optimism begets optimism.