chicken skin, beer, at calamares

not much work to do today. buti na lang maraming nabubutingting sa internet.
pero masakit sa ulo ang mag-isip ng kung ano gagawin.
pwede bang maglaro na lang? hehehe
may mga dapat gawin pero ayaw gawin. o di ba kaloka yun?
mas exciting kasi at di ako inaantok pag browsing the net lang pero pag browsing the office files.....tulog na lang tayo. hehehe

i was out last night with my boss. had a bottle of san mig light. siempre when i was asked where to go dun sa place at kainan na gustong gusto kong puntahan pero budgeted ako kaya panglibre lang. harharhar

sa cb (chicken burger) resto sa may east masarap ang chicken skin nila. first time kung kumain nun actually. napasubo lang pero masarap sya lalo na may isang boteng beer na kasama. i don't eat squid. kahit ano'ng gawin ko hindi ko malaman bakit di matanggap ng sikmura ko na kainin ito. but when the calamares came last night, i was so tempted to give it a try. and guess what?!!!! masarap pala sya especially if dipped in mayochup (mayonnaise at ketchup) sauce. so now, i can eat squid na. depende lang pala sa luto. hehe

feeling sick

wow! i'm actually feeling sick. after such a loooooong long time. oh well, not totally true. once in a brown moon i get to have fever and a headache but it goes off quickly. this time, i feel my body is that of 60 years old. aches and pains all over. while walking, something would snap and it feels so terribly painful. i thought this is just stress. being exposed to computer most of the time but the pain won't just simply go. even lying in my bed now i need to be extra careful that i don't twist or lie down on my side. hay........i wonder what causing all these???

i had fever all night and was feeling so cold but thank goddess that i feel better waking up in the won derful new day.

thanks to my lpp who prepared a sumptuous breakfast and who barely slept to keep watch of my fever. love life.

carpe diem!

heart burn

grabeng heart burn ko today.
the rest of the afternoon is really painful.

i really must stop smoking.

i always tell myself that and still found a stick to puff especially on tbe weekends where i have time to sit down, having coffee, chatting with friends and it feels so good watching the smoke coming out from my mouth.
hay......smoking kills. i noticed it was that BIG warning i saw from the new packaging of phillip morris but people buy anyway....

i don't find it hard to stop smoking only that there are times it really feels so gooooooood. and there are people around me who smokes. just find it so hard to resist when they do smoke in front of me. i don't want to be a second-hand smoker so might as well puff that stick!

but i really MUST STOP NOW! god help me. all smokers should sue all these giant tobacco companies! why does the government give them permit anyway when we all know it kills? or maybe we just really love to kill ourselves softly....

knowing that smoking kills and we still do only indicates that we don't truly love ourselves. maybe yes. maybe not. maybe.

do not accept minor misdeeds

The teacher asked his disciples to go and find something to eat.
They were travelling and could find no proper food.

The disciples came back later that afternoon.
Each brought with him the little he had gleaned from other people’s charity: rotten fruit, stale bread, sour wine.

However, one of the disciples returned with a bag of ripe apples.
‘I will always do all I can to help my teacher and my brothers,’ he said, sharing out the apples with the others.
‘Where did you get them from?’ asked his teacher.
‘I had to steal them. People only wanted to give me leftovers, even though they know that we preach the word of God.’‘

Leave us this minute and take your apples with you, and never come back,’ said the teacher.

‘The ends never justify the means, however noble those ends might be. If you steal for me today, tomorrow you might end up stealing from me.’

i am a sinner and you are a sinner, but someday the sinner will be brahma again, will someday attain nirvana, will someday become a buddha.

now this 'someday' is illusion; it is only a comparison.

the sinner is not on the way to a buddha-like state; he is not evolving although our thinking cannot conceive things otherwise. no, the potential buddha already exists in the sinner; his future is already there. the potential hidden buddha must be recognized in him, in you, in everybody. the world is not imperfect or slowly evolving along the path to perfection. no, it is perfect at every moment;
every sin already carries grace within it,
all small children are potential old men
all sucklings have death within them
all dying people - eternal life.

it is not possible for one person to see how far another is on the way;
the buddha exists in the robber and dice player; the robber exists in the brahmin.
during deep meditation it is possible to dispel time, to see simultaneously all the past, present, and future, and then everything is good, everything is perfect, everything is brahmin.

therefore, it seems to me that everything that exists is good - -

death as well as life,
sin as well as holiness,
wisdom as well as folly.

everything is necessary
everything needs only my agreement, my assent, my loving understanding;
then all is well with me and nothing can harm me.

i learned through my body and soul that it was necessary for me to sin, that i needed lust, that i had to strive for property and experience nausea and the depths of despair in order to learn not to resist them, in order to learn to love the world, and no longer compare it with some kind of desired imaginary world, some imaginary vision of perfection, but to leave it as it is, to love it and be glad to belong to it.

THESE ARE WORDS OF SIDDHARTHA TO HIS FRIEND GOVINDA IN THE BOOK, SIDDHARTHA" BY HERMANN HESSE.

i just love this excerpt. although i don't agree in every word used especially in the sinner and sin idea because i believe that you and i are no sinner and that there is no single sin committed. sinner and sin for me is also an illusion. i would prefer to believe that we all are saints and that we are all perfect. it is just a matter of perspective....which angle you are looking at?

para kay shinemoon

i specially remember you on this day.
i remember us.
i recall how the spark started until it blows off
and i am happy to relive the moments with you

i took on the other path without you
left you somewhere
and i wished you joy and love
still

i am grateful to have found and met you
on my way....home
i will always cherish how good you are
to my soul

how kind
how lovely
how giving
how generous
how loving

you were in deed an angel

a moon
that lit my way in its darkest

and whichever road you are now
i wish
you be the moon
to each soul you touch

my soul is glad
i am happy
once in my lifetime here on earth
i met and found you

you are special
you are love

you will always be
the moon that shines

and i will remember you
that way
only

thank you love
for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g

we will still meet again
who knows
in the next bend of the road
i am there
but you won't give me a smile

and i will silently cry

thank you anyway

for the joy that you gave
for the love that you showered
for the care that mattered

i wish you...
love